Relationships Provide a Catalyst for Alchemical Physical, Spiritual & Emotional Changes

There are many personality flaws or ego mechanisms that can arise within relationships that create discordance between energy fields. When these types of underlying issues exist, you and your partner will not be able to create the high frequency vibration or potent energetic third field of the trinity. Unconditional love is something that humans usually only touch into for seconds, because our egos or personalities arise to create separation through our thought projections. Underneath the mind games is presence, which requires nothing from the other. Here are just a few examples of behaviors that can come between you and your partner which naturally create discordance in the unification of your fields.

Controlling or Domineering Behavior: Needing another person to act in a way that pleases you or meets your personal expectations of the world will naturally create a split. No one has the right to dictate rules or obligations to another on how to live their life. If they do so, it stems from a place of insecurity or even past trauma. This type of behavior can be seen in subtle ways, such as comments around what you wear or how you look. Issues around freedom, what you do with your spare time and who you spend your time with may arise. When someone experiences controlling behavior from another, it could potentially lower an individual’s self-esteem causing feelings of unworthiness and confusion. Boundaries need to be set and the relationship may require outside support.

Manipulation: This is experienced through subtle or obvious behaviors in words or actions. Manipulation often comes in the form of lengthy discourses or even energy exchange that creates a power struggle. When someone begins to talk you out of your intuition or gut feeling about a behavior or situation, you need to take space to reevaluate. The person may make you feel like you need them for happiness or survival. Using guilt tactics, which create shame is not unusual. If someone is manipulating your energy you may feel on edge, or energetically imbalanced around them. Healing requires an energetic balance in your relationship to bring peace. In order to dissolve the entanglement, it is necessary to work on issues around control and self-love.

Being Judgmental or Intolerable: This arises from personal insecurities that others mirror back to you about yourself. Judgement is a fast reaction to what we don’t like about another or ourselves. It is a reference for our subconscious or personal projections. It is hard not to judge someone because our egos create a natural separation between bodies. The most important thing to do is learn how to catch yourself before you speak or act unkindly. Utilizing a group of friends to talk about your relationship issues is not a bad thing, women need to gossip in order to not place these problems on their partner.

Lack of Intimacy: I have had the great honor to work with many women in their process of becoming pregnant and through our sessions it appears that many couples have very similar relationship problems, especially when it comes to becoming pregnant. Those who struggle with fertility tend to lose deep intimacy because they are focused on the end result. The process of procreating becomes a marathon, rather than a unique and heightened experience, which creates frustration. Intimacy comes in the form of conversation, touch, thoughtfulness, listening, holding one another and making love. When you are trying to become pregnant all of these intimate behaviors should be at the forefront of your relationship to create a loving journey together.

Not Taking Responsibility for Actions: Avoiding personal faults and not owning your own issues will create massive separation in your relationship. If you are insecure, unhappy or angry take the necessary steps to own your personal behavior. Say you are sorry when you are rude or short-tempered, especially if you expect the same from your partner. The projection that someone else is in the wrong is not worth your personal loss of energy. When you begin to take responsibility for your behavior self-awareness grows. This will create a mirror for your partner to do the same.

Anger, Resentment or Aggression: Keep in mind that anger is a mask for grief, sadness or fear. Do a personal inventory of the actions that create negative interactions within your relationship. Determine which emotions are driving your angry reactions and use tools to process through the issues provided in the Mystical Motherhood book series. There is a three-minute Kundalini meditation, as taught by Yogi Bhajan, called fists of anger which can be found with a quick Internet search. This meditation can be done more than once throughout the day and is excellent for reducing anger and aggression.

Lack of Communication: Conscious conversations require a balance of talking and listening. Scheduling in times to speak may not be a bad idea to ensure that they happen in a peaceful manner rather than an explosion of resentment. Communication is a critical component to a healthy relationship, but it requires vulnerability and honesty. It also works better if you are able to listen (and not think of what you are going to say next), while your partner is speaking. If your partner is struggling, sometimes all they want to hear is that you are there for them. The best ways to “fix” a situation may come through pure presence. When you speak with another try to listen to the words that come out of your mouth. This active listening to yourself will bring greater awareness of whether your words are true, necessary and coming from a space of love.

Projection: Catch yourself when you begin to project your subconscious trauma or neurosis on to your partner. According to Yogi Bhajan, women have 11 moon centers and men have only one. He said that the women who understand their moon centers will control this coming golden age. These moon centers fluctuate women’s emotions every 2.5 days. Men don’t have this type of fluctuation in moods as their energy stays grounded in their chin. Through self-discovery I have become aware of my constant fluctuating moods as a result of the energetic shifts in my moon centers. Certain moon centers make women feel insecure, focused, flirty or even timid. If you get in tune with these shifts in mood, you can become more in control of your behaviors and know where you will energetically be next. Understanding yourself brings greater clarity on your projections. Your only responsibility is to own your own behavior and once you do this you can lift the entire relationship.

Placing Blame or Shame: Guilt is placed upon you by others. It makes you feel stuck because it stems from past experiences that are not actually happening in the present moment. When you absorb someone else’s expectations of who you should be you may be in a toxic situation. Guilt serves no purpose other than pulling negativity into a person’s life creating a darkness so that one cannot see clearly. Shame on the other hand holds the purpose of showing where improvements could take place. It occurs when you have contradicted your own morals. If you did all the right actions in a situation to the best of your ability you need to let go of someone else’s expectations of who you should be. If you didn’t properly step up in a situation learn from that, but do not dwell on it.

Relationships provide a catalyst for alchemical physical, spiritual and emotional changes. When two highly connected souls meet traumas, wounds and subconscious patterns that have not been healed may arise for release. This provides the opportunity for internal growth and expansion. Once deep routed issues are worked through the couple has the possibility of raising their frequency to a level harmonic convergence with Source. If the two are meant to be together, and both have done their personal work, then their frequencies will unite as one. If one individual cannot keep up with the other person’s level of growth the universe will likely provide the right partner for each to continually grow with the purpose of creating increased light within. The creation of love and harmony within the relationship is a critical component to the union and conscious conception.